Struggling
I feel like I’m struggling. A lot.
Being home has brought with it and indeterminable set of problems that just exist because I exist.
I’m broke. Oh so painfully broke.
Working is awesome but after just a week all of the things that I loved and hoped and believed in in this organization seem to be crashing down around me.
I miss school so so so much.
I want to get away. Its like I’m too close still. I feel like even moving to the city wouldn’t be enough. I need something drastically different.
Death. While we have always had a good relationship seeing my family sick and feeble is no easy task and it makes me hurt from the inside out.
I actually miss therapy. How odd.
Everyday is difficult. I miss the times that even when it was hard I could come home to a cold beer and lots of smiling faces to keep me company and keep me out of my own head. Now I come home to my siblings who don’t really want me around all that much and I spend most of my days alone. maybe giving it all up and starting fresh somewhere far far away is a good plan? Maybe that’s what I need.
